Kill the Beast
Sports, Politics and Entertainment
Monday, July 21stth, 2008
Sports
Free Agent
Shuffle Doesn’t Change Much – Christopher Alberta
The games in the east
have become all but irrelevant when the Western Division is home to all the
powerhouses. The petty quarterback shuffling of the dysfunctional Argonauts is
meaningless compared to Saskatchewan Roughriders 4-0 start. It’s the first 4-0
start for that franchise since 1970, but it hasn’t been a fluke, as the ‘Riders
follow up on their Grey Cup victory last season with more solid play. They’ve
already defeated the once mighty B.C. Lions, and all other challengers,
included the current east leading Montreal Alouettes.
Despite their victory over the Eskimos Sunday night, the
In the west, the wild
card is the Calgary Stampeders. They managed to steal
a victory from the Lions on opening day and have accumulated a 3-1 record since
then. With former Lion Dave Dickenson in the back up position behind Henry
Burris, the Stampeders have arguably the best one-two
QB punch in the league. If they can win the easy games, like their stomping of
the Ti-Cats earlier last week, the Stamps will find themselves challenging for
the top spot for the first time a few years.
The Lions and the Blue
Bombers have not lived up their expectations thus far this season, and over the
last two weeks, they’ve played a home and home series against one another. The
Lions dominated the first game and narrowly averted an offensive coma in the
second game, as Jarious Jackson finally clicked with Geroy Simon for a TD to put the Lions ahead for good. While
the Lions will have to fight to stay alive with
It seems the east will
continue to be a Mongolian gong show and the real football clubs will be free
to reap chaos when the Boat and Tiger act teams travel out to the Wild West.
Entertainment
Rise and Fall: Balls to ballads– Marie Miner
With their latest album release Rise
and Fall, Rage and Grace (2008), punk rock
veterans, The Offspring have proven that the band still rocks after almost 20
years of producing music. But fans are left to wonder if they have regained the
genuine punk status they enjoyed in the early 90s.
Many critics argue the 1998 single ‘Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)’ was
the signal of descent into the mainstream. Die-hards may even say this turning
point occurred even earlier, with the album Ixnay on the Hombre (1997). Perhaps, to say the least, it was hard for
the band to follow up on Smash (1994)
which was has been the most successful album on Epitaph Records to date and
featured the anthem ‘Self Esteem’.
Inevitably,
The Offspring’s musical style has changed over the years from the fearless in your-face
mantra characteristic of punk music to a rock-heavy sound that was almost
forced at times and obviously restrained. At worst the later music has been accused
of being a conformist money grab or just plain self-indulgent garbage. But in the
later albums, including
But the
good stuff can be few and far between, so one is inevitably stuck listening to or
skipping past the uncreative pop ballads like ‘Kristy, Are You Doing Okay?’ and
‘Denial, Revisited’. One common denominator between these later albums is the
record label; the band jumped ship from Epitaph to
Much
to my fury, The Offspring’s Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace has even been released as a
censored version. When I purchased it at a Wal-Mart in the
It
seems that The Offspring’s musical motive lately has been “if you throw enough
shit, something’s got to stick” (or rather, sh*t). This
method can apply to anything and usually works, but we don’t have to buy it. A
smart strategy for long time Offspring fans would be to buy individual songs
online and avoid subjecting your time and money to the weaker songs altogether.
Or, if the record company threw out the pop ballads and kept the solid songs
from the ’97 to ’08 years, they might actually be left with enough to make a
full album. Title idea: All Balls, No
Shit
Horoscopes
Aries: Your body has taken a beating lately.
Why not brave the elements with the aid of polysporin
Taurus: Be honest. When you
lie it is painfully obvious
Gemini: Your tongue is
currently your strongest muscle. How about you practice silence
Cancer: Stop concentrating on everyone else. Focus on
yourself and lean back to relax
Leo: Never tell another person you like to
bite your toenails. Unless you're sure that that other person would laugh
Virgo: Try to stop moaning to people. Everyone
knows you're good at complaining. Now find something else to excel at
Libra: Clean your bedroom you dirty slag!
Scorpio: To you sex is a basic
human right. You've been real political lately
Sagittarius: Walk to the grocery
store, don't drive. So what if you have to carry the goods back by your hands,
it will tone your arm
Capricorn: This week its really
simple, just shower..please
Aquarius: Pay attention to the
stars, they are shining for you
Pisces: Read Bei Hennef by D.H. Lawerence. It will put your current situation into perspective
