Kill the Beast

Kill the Beast

Sports, Politics and Entertainment

Monday, July 7^th, 2008

Sports

Free Agent Shuffle Doesn’t Change Much – Christopher Alberta

Canada Day has whole other meaning for hockey fans. Every July 1^st, followers of great game of stick and puck get to watch all the teams in the NHL re-tool their rosters and get ready for the regular season campaign to come. This year, the first week of free agency featured many buyer teams that in pervious seasons stayed out of the bidding as well as players who took some unexpected contracts.

To begin, the Chicago Blackhawks, under their new ownership, finally decided to hire someone in the summer time. And for the ‘Hawks, anything worth doing is worth doing right, as they picked up offensive defenseman Brian Campbell previously of the San Jose Sharks and Buffalo Sabres. Campbell was perhaps the most valuable prize available this summer and no one expected the normally inactive Blackhawks to even make an offer. That said, it remains to be seen if Campbell will be worth $7million for the entire eight year length of the contract.

The Stanley Cup champion Detroit Red Wings were relatively quiet, but they did sign the biggest free agent name of the season when they lured Marian Hossa, formerly of the Penguins, Thrashers and Senators, with an undersized $7 million contract for one year. Hossa could have gotten a lot more money and term from other teams, but decided that he wanted the best chance to win and so took less money to play for the Red Wings.

The Toronto Maple Leafs brought back an old face as they always seem to do, signing 41 year old Curtis Joseph for one year to back up Vesa Toskala. Also, the Leafs added Nik Hagman for a very economic $3million per year for four years. Lastly, Toronto signed former Colorado defensemen, Jeff Finger for $3.5million per year for four years. Finger is an odd pick up as he has only one full year of NHL experience and was a healthy scratch for the Avalanche in last spring’s playoffs.

The Vancouver Canucks’ GM Mike Gillis did absolutely nothing in the high quality free agent department. Largely believed to have replaced former GM Dave Nonis because of Nonis’ lack of activity at February’s trade deadline, Vancouver failed to attract even mid range players such as Hagman or Ryan Malone who signed in Tampa Bay. Despite a monster 2 year $20 million offer to big man Mats Sundin, the Canucks are without a big centerman or even a credible scoring threat after the Sedin twins. While Markus Naslund’s departure to New York may be addition by subtraction, the Canucks need to bring in someone to score and lead this team’s offense. Otherwise, it seems like the best idea would be to trade the twins and goalie Roberto Luongo while they have maximum value and start rebuilding all over again in the Cup-less Western Canadian city.

Entertainment

Less Psycho, More Billy – Marie Miner

At a time in which punk rock has split into so many variations such as emo-punk, pop-punk, and folk-punk to name a few, there is one genre that is overlooked and underrepresented: Psychobilly.

What the heck is Psychobilly? Generally, it refers to music with a punk-rock-derived tempo, country twang, a monster stand-up bass guitar, undertones of dramatic horror and dark lyrics.

Tiger Army is a punk band that has risen to international fame playing Psychobilly tunes. Hailing from the U.S.A., Tiger Army has only been around since 1996, but they’ve released four solid albums in that time. Their oldest, self-titled album released in 1999 lived up to the true Psychobilly sound, full of unrefined hardcore energy. Their second album, Tiger Army II: Power of Moonlight, showcased more of a hillbilly/country sound with songs like ‘Cupid’s Victim’ and ‘In the Orchard’, but still retained the raw aggressiveness of the first album. Their next two albums, Tiger Army III: Ghost Tigers Rise and Music From Regions Beyond demonstrated a more polished sound: basically, less ‘Psycho’ and more ‘Billy’.

On tour, Tiger Army had successfully evaded Canada until recently. In April ’08, they crossed the border to play the notoriously all-ages venue, the Croatian Cultural Centre, in Vancouver, B.C. To be honest, I can’t remember what Tiger Army opened with but it was not what I had expected. They played many obscure songs that only their hardcore fans would recognize and most of these were of the earlier, raw and aggressive sort. It was okay, but I had hoped for some of their catchier tunes like ‘Fog Surrounds’ or ‘Jungle Cat’, neither of which made the set list. The desperate love cry, ‘Outlaw Heart’ from their first record didn’t make it either, despite being one of the more original sounding songs (those country twang guitar riffs are irresistible). From their newer albums, they dutifully played most of their singles and, to my surprise, a song called ‘Pain’, my personal favorite.

The rest of the set seemed to sacrifice unique and interesting songs for songs that remain within the musical boundaries that the leaders of Tiger Army had earlier set for the band. In other words, they took no risks and followed a safe, often boring set list that left me feeling indifferent. The band members themselves didn’t do much out of the ordinary to excite the crowd. They lacked a certain charisma that comes naturally to crowd-pleasers like NOFX or the Barenaked Ladies. So save your dollars on the Tiger Army show and buy the albums, because these punk rockers still have a few things to learn about showmanship.

Feature

Fenton’s Choice (Part 4 of 4) – Marie Sulford

It had always been very quiet in the half empty hotel. The massive stone walls deadened what sound there was, so that when I awoke with a jerk around midnight to the noise of urgent shouting, I was greatly alarmed. I heard the lift clicking from floor to floor on its way up the building and the sound of feet running faster and faster up the stone staircase that formed a curved well round the lift.

“Go away, go away. Stop following me!” I could hear Fenton shouting.

I rushed to the landing just in time to see Fenton disappear in the lift to the floor above. A young man was running easily up the stairs after him, although hesitantly as to seem never to gain on the lift. I panted up the stairs after him to the sixth floor. There was the lift, the gated doors wide open but no sign of Fenton or the young man. Fenton’s bedroom door was shut.

I banged on the door. I heard a window open and the sound of shutters being thrown back and then a high anguished scream. I banged on the door, my voice squeaking with fright. I shouted “Fenton! Fenton! Are you alright?! Open the door!”

It opened slowly. It was Fenton standing there. He smiled at me, a strange and malicious smile that I’d never seen on his face before. I drew back. “Where is that man?” I whispered, trying to peer into the dark room.

“There’s no one here”, Fenton said as he shrugged and then laughed, looking at me with an insolence quite unlike Fenton.

I found myself shrinking away out of the room and he suddenly banged the door in my face.

Somehow, trembling all over, I got back to my room, fumbled into a coat and shoes and went down in the lift to the foyer. The night porter glanced at me in surprise. “Young Mr. Fenton has gone upstairs”, he said, “with another young man. It’s his brother perhaps, they are very alike. Will he be staying too? As they were hurrying, I did not have a chance to ask them anything.”

I nodded and to his surprise, I unlocked the big door into the garden behind the hotel. “Back in a minute”, I whispered.

The night was calm and a full moon floated up. After the rain, all was shimmering and clear in the small high-walled garden. I crept around under Fenton’s window. I was terrified I’d find someone smashed to the ground but there was no one, nothing.

A giant magnolia tree with immense white flowers towered up the grey stone walls of the old building, almost up to Fenton’s window which I saw was wide open.

“Fenton, Fenton”, I murmured and I thought I heard someone sigh.

I left the hotel very early the next morning. I never saw Fenton again. I learned later that no one ever saw Fenton again, not his grandmother, nor his uncle in the Argentine.

I was summoned to Mr. Wynne when I got back, who wanted a full account and found I could tell him nothing.

THE END

Horoscopes

Aries: Big things happen to big people. Bigger isn’t always better though

Taurus: Don’t wait for opportunity to knock. Sometimes you have to go looking for it

Gemini: Worrying never helped Abe catch the White Whale. It won’t help with your latest problem either

Cancer: Keep up the good work and you will be rewarded. Flag before the finish and it was all for nothing

Leo: The summer is the great season for Leos: lots of daylight to sleep through and short nights to prowl around

Virgo: Try to ignore the nagging doubts you have about your latest plans. Sometimes, to follow something through to the end is an accomplishment unto itself

Libra: Watch out for unexpected arguments. Don’t talk to someone you whom you know is looking for a fight

Scorpio: Boredom is one person’s prison and another’s vacation. Try to make the most of your free time

Sagittarius: Be all that you can be is a great idea, but in real life, it often falls short of the mark

Capricorn: To keep things simple you have to say no sometimes. Current complications come from too many obligations

Aquarius: Music can’t solve your problems it can only make you forget them briefly.

Pisces: Drugs can solve your problems but you might not remember what they are exactly

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